wake up time

[cardinalsinned]

[ This is probably the second worst way to wake up, in a hospital bed with Juan there watching. ]

What... happened to me?

Comments

[maleborgia]

Don't fall; I won't be able to catch you.

Yes, and you do not smell of smoke. I am not accusing you of breaking it.

[foundjuanting]

I will smell of smoke soon enough, I would have a cigarette by the window.

[WE CAN DO THIS, WE CAN MAKE IT TO THE LITTLE LOUNGESPACE]

[maleborgia]

I don't see what you find so enjoyable about it. *but helping you to your room*

[foundjuanting]

About which? There are three that you could be speaking of.

[laying down on the platform near the window, and rummaging for something in the middle of all the fabric and pillows]

[maleborgia]

*sitting down, only slightly in your way*

The cigarettes in particular. The rest I can understand, even if I do not approve.

[foundjuanting]

[pausing mid-light]

How do you understand the others?

[maleborgia]

Because I have spoken to people about them and looked into it on my own. I understand that they cause sedation and a lessening of pain. You are by no means the first one I know to smoke these, but they should not be filling the same need.

[foundjuanting]

[Laughing as he takes a drag and shakes his head a little.]

Is that how they describe it? No it's... it's so much more than that, even without the visions.

[maleborgia]

Then explain it to me, or tell me what you see.

[foundjuanting]

It's... warmth, more than warmth truly. It is a feeling of being disconnected from your pain, oh you can still feel the edges of it, but it does not matter. You can look upon it and all your life as though you were a scholar reading over a text. Your senses grow sharp, the flicker of a light in the darkness takes on a countless number of sights you missed before, the smoke gains an elegance and grace that we so often overlook. You can feel the grain of wood and every raised detail and carved dip of what you touch, and the color and sound that goes ignored comes to the front and invites you to see, hear, and touch.

Rest comes easily, even to a troubled mind, and the dreams on the rim of that sleep are so vivid that even on waking you must ask yourself where each could be separated, if only for a moment. Memories rise up, quickly and then run away, but each one is as clear as when they first occurred. Every feeling from joy, to wonder, and even strangely to pain and tears, all of them are there to relive again. It is though all of your life is before you, and you could pluck each sight and travel through the ages, if only for a moment.

Words flow naturally, and the emotions of others become clear, each gesture and tone gaining meaning where there was so much more missed before. Time feels differently, and there is only the feeling of peace and calm, and the sedate wonder at the nature of our world.

Lessening of pain... is a vast understatement.

[maleborgia]

Others become clear, or you perceive them to be so?

I'm not accusing you of being wrong, I am curious which it is.

[foundjuanting]

Perhaps it is both, but it's much how if one closes their eyes... their hearing becomes sharp. In cutting away the troubles of the world, you become more aware of the inflection in the voice, the tenseness of a form, the expressions that normally are only there and gone in one moment.

[maleborgia]

How much do you remember when it wears off?

[foundjuanting]

It all depends, sometimes it is no more than the memory of a dream, and sometimes it is clear as the day itself.

[maleborgia]

And how do you know that day is not itself a more fully remembered dream?

[foundjuanting]

Sometimes that is difficult... but only when you indulge after having no rest for a while.

[maleborgia]

What else affects it?

[foundjuanting]

The type and purity of what you have chosen, how you choose its' means, what you have consumed before or after... like today. I should not have had wine, but I would not have our other brother know of this. It is easier for him to smell it on my form, but it lessens the effects, and I have been short of breath.

...And light-headed, that has not happened before.

[maleborgia]

I doubt that is the wine, Juan, that's the result of you mixing multiple things together.

[foundjuanting]

I did not think it would be so severe.

[maleborgia]

Now you know not to do it again. Do you need me to send for a doctor?

[foundjuanting]

[Shifting a bit uncomfortably]

If it grows worse, but if our brother would find out, than simply find a way to end the problem.

[maleborgia]

He doesn't even know I am back yet. *pause, thinking* I'll go meet with him. I have things to talk him about anyway and I'll likely surprise him if you've convinced him I've been missing. He won't notice if you are seeing a physician then.

[foundjuanting]

That is good... quite good even. We quarreled, so he will assume I have gone out to drink again.

[Give him a bit, and he's not going to be looking so good, yeah]

[maleborgia]

Would it be better for you to meet here or elsewhere? *this question is more to himself than to Juan* Elsewhere, but I don't know if I will be able to move you on my own to the hospital, although it is nearer now. The quickest way is right through the middle of the square, however, and I'm sure you would not care for that. *dialing*