wake up time

[cardinalsinned]

[ This is probably the second worst way to wake up, in a hospital bed with Juan there watching. ]

What... happened to me?

Comments

[foundjuanting]

Though I have my doubts, our brother's acts towards our sister still have not crossed that line, and his words would say that he still only feels for her in that way... I hope.

...And as dark as his soul is, he is still my brother. You are both reflections of each other, each looking at the other through the glass. To him you no doubt are the shadow, to be tolerated until you become like him. But the matter is simple, if you are both reflections, it is more as though the glass is warped on both sides. The Cesare I know is a man who is enfolded within himself, he is one man to my father, one man to me, and one man to Lucrezia. His is furthermore a different man to his enemies and a even further still to his allies. I suspect that the Cesare I have seen can break himself down a thousand times and wear as many masks. If it is so easy for a Cesare to break away from the man who he was moments before in his own skin, then why is it such a struggle when that other man has a form of his own?

[maleborgia]

There are two kinds of breaking, as you have just pointed out yourself. There is the act of becoming different, whether for our father's viewing or our sister's or for my own in contrast to him. Then there is also the fact that we are tied together in association and name, as even you have just referred to us both as images of the same form.

[foundjuanting]

Though you are tied together by that and you share parts of your character, you are still different from each other. Think of your horse, is he the same as any other steed of his like, or is he not first himself and then a member of his breed.

[maleborgia]

*pause, then leaning forward*

There, that is the kind of answer I would like to hear more of. This is why I want to speak with you and not the drugs, this is my brother's voice.

[foundjuanting]

[shaking his head a little]

Your brothers' voice was speaking through them as well, they do not rule me.

[maleborgia]

It was muffled and harder to hear.

[foundjuanting]

Was it truly? I could understand you well enough.

[maleborgia]

I don't think that challenges my point.

[foundjuanting]

Then I would ask where you could not hear me.

[maleborgia]

I wonder if it is just that it is hard for you to notice this when you are the one under the influence, but it is difficult to carry on a conversation with you.

[foundjuanting]

I had not noticed, how is that so?

[maleborgia]

How do you think? Imagine having a conversation with a man who has been drinking, when you yourself are dry.

[foundjuanting]

It is not that difficult...

[maleborgia]

It's wearisome.

[foundjuanting]

Well if you have difficulty understanding me when you are not under the effects of it yourself...

[maleborgia]

You know that is not the appropriate suggestion.

[foundjuanting]

Then what suggestion do you have? Nothing has changed in this home and nothing will change. This deals with the matter well enough.

[maleborgia]

Do you remember when you first visited this place?

[foundjuanting]

In parts, it's beginning to fade.

[maleborgia]

If it is fading, then let us remake it.

[foundjuanting]

Is that even possible? The landscape has changed in many ways.

[maleborgia]

You are clearly adventurous. Would you not see if you can navigate it?

[foundjuanting]

You know that I mean more than just the terrain.

[maleborgia]

It's a metaphor.

[foundjuanting]

Then I consider myself without proper supplies, men, and a map. I would know if it is even a possibility. I've been told more than once that there is nothing I have done to make the situation more... habitable.