wake up time

[cardinalsinned]

[ This is probably the second worst way to wake up, in a hospital bed with Juan there watching. ]

What... happened to me?

Comments

[cardinalsinned]

You would make a terrible woman, then. She knew what she was getting herself into. And she did not deserve to die such a terrible death.

[foundjuanting]

And you call me deluded. You simply can not accept even the possibility that you drove her from you, or drove her further still to her death... much less that it all still might weigh on your mind.

... A matter sealed for a matter sealed. I speak no more of the woman, and you speak no more of the stableboy I took care of.

[cardinalsinned]

And you cannot accept the idea that a woman adored me without my having to put money in her hand first. Have you ever had such a relationship, Juan?

I have not agreed to that. Not yet.

[foundjuanting]

I have, she waits back in Spain.

[cardinalsinned]

She mourns your death in Spain.

[foundjuanting]

Yes, that as well.

[cardinalsinned]

You cannot help but be jealous of what I had. That you will never have again.

[foundjuanting]

... I will never have it again from her, but she is strong, and at least I can take comfort in her health and that she has those close by to comfort her in her grief. If I can not have hapiness, I can take solice in that at least she will be well.

[cardinalsinned]

You cannot have happiness because you do everything in your power to destroy what happiness you are offered.

[foundjuanting]

With her I was called back to spain. I did miss my family, but I had love there, love that did not come with a biting insult or a chain attached.

[cardinalsinned]

Only because she did not know you long enough to see you as I do.

[foundjuanting]

She did not treat me unkindly, what reason would I have to turn against her?

[cardinalsinned]

What reason did you have to turn against me?

[foundjuanting]

When envy started to enter your heart and both you and our dear sister sought distance from me, then I first felt the need. Because our father favored me did it mean that I deserved to be abandoned by my family?

[cardinalsinned]

I sought distance from you because you and I no longer fought on the same side.

[foundjuanting]

Then why did you never tell me that sides had been drawn? We all suffered under our fathers' duties, that should have been a source of strength and common ground for us to band together... only set us against each other.

[cardinalsinned]

How did you not see that sides had been drawn? Were you really so blind to the world around you?

[foundjuanting]

No... just to my brother and sister.

[cardinalsinned]

Still, you were blind.

[foundjuanting]

As blind as you are about the nun.

[cardinalsinned]

And you wonder why we cannot agree on anything? I offer you peace and you choose instead to throw things back in my face.

[foundjuanting]

I only do so because our last attempt at peace fared so poorly. We both agreed to the giving up of habits for a more brotherly state, but then you later admitted that you had no intention of keeping your word. I had, brother, and so now I am simply seeking to remove the sources of disquiet from our conversations. If that means forcing you to see how much you felt for that nun and your hand in her death, so be it.

The matter could be settled at any time by trading talk of her for talk of the stable boy.

[cardinalsinned]

I had no hand in her death! Only a fool would think so. I mourned her death as I would any woman I loved, how could I conspire to harm her?

[foundjuanting]

The french may have murfered her, but you drove her there.

[cardinalsinned]

And you have driven yourself here.