App!

[cardinalsinned]

Name: Cesare Borgia
Age: 22
Series: The Borgias (2011)
Job: Amoral Support
Canon:
Most men want to do right by their families and give their children the world. But most men don’t take that quite as literally as Rodrigo Borgia, who goes to great lengths to become Pope so he can quite literally give his family the world. His political and spiritual machinations are the cause of (and occasionally the answer to) turmoil that engulfs renaissance Europe. But worry not, it’s nothing that can’t be solved with a little blackmail or the occasional murder. The drama isn’t limited to Rodrigo himself, as his children and even various mistresses end up a willing party to everything from shady political manipulation to war crimes. They aren’t ignorant of what they’re getting into; when you’re a Borgia nothing says “family togetherness” like trying to rule the world.

Cesare Borgia is the oldest son of the Borgia family and as such a lot of responsibility falls on him. He is expected to take his father’s place someday, whether he wants to or not. Which might explain why he can be petulant even when he’s following orders and looking out for the family. And as much as he cares about his family, he cares about himself as well. Cesare tends more toward war than his cardinal title would suggest, and under the cover of a good son he hides his share of violence and hate. Truly, he will do just about anything to get what he wants, including stalking and ordering deaths. He is clever and cunning, and when the need arises, subtle. Cesare does think fairly well of himself, even if he will never be able to live up to ideal man his father wants him to be.

Sample:
First let me apologize for any injury I might have caused when I first arrived. Had I been warned before my arrival that the dead were mobile here and that such walking corpses were well tolerated I would not have tried to condemn you to the bowels hell. Nor would I have set so many of you on fire. Still, I am glad and only slightly worried to see that little damage was done. Really though, if you make a practice of bringing men in as I have been brought you will need to rethink your welcome party. Compared to your horrific entrance the entire French army would have been a less upsetting sight. And I mean that as a man who has faced the entire French army and nearly lost everything. Nearly, but not quite.

For now I am willing to set aside your rather unnatural nature in favor of completing my given task. I am Cesare Borgia, son of His Holiness the Pope of Rome and according to my summons, your new counselor on morality. To be perfectly honest I can see why such counsel would be needed here; even the letter I was sent had been vandalized to make it seem as if I would be here to guide you away from the light. But I was young once, and I have played a trick or two in my time. I am a man not so easily fooled. Regardless of the fact that you could not find anyone more qualified to guide you, I am here now and I will do my best to set you on the path to being more moral and upstanding corpses. Your need seems great and had the Holy Father given me a choice in the matter I am certain I would have chosen to help. Perhaps.

It will, of course, take time before I can give you a full list of the ways you have gone astray. I imagine the list will be long, indeed. Though I can start now with your manner of dress, or lack thereof in many cases. I will see what I can do to get funds in the name of getting you more civil clothing. It is appalling to see that some of you who are very clearly women wearing the clothing of men. Stop moaning, it will not kill you to dress like decent men and women, no more than you have already been killed. Do you not wish to make more of yourselves? You look like victims of a plague, or perhaps the most desperate of beggars. A man must dress for the part he wishes to play! Rid yourself of this unsuitable dress and welcome your new life!


I take it back, put your old life back on. I will think of a better plan.